John Prendergast: Mass Rape in Menora, Congo

On March 27^th, I had the pleasure of listening to Human Rights activist John Prendergast.  The issue that he spoke about regarded the minerals that are being used in our phones and where they come from.  Of course, like many others out there, I don’t think about these things when purchasing a phone.  I just bought the IPhone 5s a couple months ago and all I was concerned with was if they had the gold edition in stock.  John Prendergast really shed light on his knowledge on the conflict minerals, which are contributing to a deadly war in Eastern Congo.  What really stood out to me during the conference was the mass rape going on in the Congo of women, men and even children.  United Nations representative named Eastern Congo as “rape capital of the world”. 

Quick Facts

• According to the UN, 160 women are raped per week in North and South Kivu, mainly by armed men.
• According to the U.S. State Dept., approximately 1,100 rapes are reported each month, with an average of 36
  
  women and children raped every day.
• In some areas of eastern Congo, 2 out of 3 women have been victims of some form of sexual violence.
• 16% of residents of North and South Kivu have witnessed some form of sexual violence.

I was naturally inclined to locate more information on this.  Rape is used as a “weapon of war to punish the women or the community to which they belong”.   Sexual violence in the Congo ranges from kidnapping, sexual slavery, forced prostitution, and even genital mutilation.  During these horrific “gang rapes” by militiamen, women are genitally mutilated with guns and even sticks.  As a result, rape survivors face many damages to their overall health.  Women face damages to their reproductive systems as well as higher chances of being infected with Aids or HIV.  Yet the most challenging is the lifelong mental damage they must face on a daily basis.  In Eastern Congo, women’s virginity is highly sacred.  A woman who is raped, even if they are married, are shunned by their community and even by their own families.  It really strikes me as to how alone and isolated these woman must feel.  After experiencing such traumatic events, families and loved ones should be there supporting these women and helping them overcome their traumas.  Unfortunately, these women are left to deal with their issues alone. 

Masika Katsuva

I stumbled upon an article written by award winning filmmaker Fiona Lloyd.  She visited Congo for a week and recalled stories of torture and rape that the women in Congo shared with her.  Fiona spoke about a woman in particular who provided shelter and support to other women who needed it.  Her name is Masika Katsuva.  Masika herself is a rape victim.  Her husband was murdered right before her eyes.  Masika and her young daughters were also raped and impregnated by militiamen.  Masika’s family rejected her and her daughters following the rape.  Her horrific experienced has led her to become a sort of mother figure to over 6000 victims of rape.  She provides these women with care, both medically and psychologically. 

It is easy to continue living life unaware of the things that are occurring in many different parts of the world.  I am so grateful of having attended John Pendergast’s conference.  It has really allowed me to become more aware and has opened my eyes.  As John P stats, “we can play a major role.”  We can tell these large consumer companies that we will not support or allow these crimes to go on.  Awareness is the first step and I myself can say that I will not contribute to this deadly war.   

Third and Final Continent: Arranged Marriages

Unlike the traditional Western “love marriage”, arranged marriages are much more analytical.  Certain important factors are considered such s reputation of the prospective families, wealth, appearance, values, religion and medical history.  Typically, parents choose the future spouses and depending on varying parts of the world, the future newlyweds are given a choice on ho their partners will be.  I a forced marriage however, no choice is given at all.  If they refuse to marry the chosen spouse, it can result in punishment or even death in rare cases. 

The newlywed couple is married, while still being complete strangers with the hope that they will develop a natural, loving relationship with time.  In the Third and Final Continent, the narrator experiences an arranged marriage himself with a woman named Mala.  The male’s family is responsible for seeking the female.  In this case, the narrator’s brother and wife selected Mala.  Once a prospective spouse is selected, families may “receive photographs and detailed reports on a person’s family, education, and finances”.  Just like in the story, the narrator is given Mala’s many talents, her age as well as her family background.   In a way, an arranged marriage, while securing financial stability, can also be a traumatizing event in one’s life.  While reading the story, it seems as if the marriage itself was not a choice made by the narrator.  The narrator felt as if this union was simply something he had to do, he neither refused nor accepted. 

As I put myself in Mala’s shoes, I can definitely understand her disattachment in the beginning of her relationship (marriage).  Mala feels distant towards her new husband and his family, but nonetheless she must cook and clean because those are her new duties to her new family.  At night, the loneliness seems to hit her.  I could not imagine living my entire life with my family and then leaving them to live with complete strangers. These strangers are Mala’s new family.  I could definitely appreciate Mala’s sadness.  A quote that stood out to me in the story was Mala’s letter to her husband that read, “I write in English in preparation for the journey.  Here I am very much lonely.  Is it very cold there.  Is there snow.  Yours, Mala.”  I can’t help but think of property when I read that.  Yours, meaning that she now and always will belong to him.

At first, it is obvious and realistic that there is no love between Mala and the narrator.  There are no feelings of caring for one another, yet there is respect, which is evident in Mala’s letter.   The narrator does not look forward to Mala’s arrival, but know that s is “something inevitable”.  The narrator spots an altercation between and Indian woman and a dog.  Here, for he first time, he becomes aware that as husband, he will have duties when it comes to his wife.  This show that for the first time, the narrator begins to care, even slightly about Mala.  He will have to, “welcome her and protect her”.  He know

s he has to buy her necessities and forewarn her on the precautions of specific streets.  Once at Ms. Croft’s house, the narrator begins to feel sympathy towards his stranger wife.  He is nervous of what Ms. Croft will think of his new wife.  He begins to understand just how much of an outsider Mala must feel.  She left the familiarity of her home in India to live with him and be his wife in this strange and foreign new land.  Ms. Croft brought the two together, and it was because of her that the tension and distance began to fade away.   It is funny how it took someone else (Ms. Croft) to make the narrator see what kind of women (wife) he had standing right before him. 
In arranged marriages, the idea is that love will take time, but the husband and wife will eventually grow to love each other.  This is certainly the case at the end of The Third and Final Continent.  According to research conducted in India, “couples in arranged marriages have more extended periods of being in love that partners who choose their own mates”.  Unbelievably so, statistics also show that, “arranged marriages end in divorce about ten times less often than non arranged marriages”.  Mala and the narrator ended up falling in love after marriage, so much so that there it is crazy to think that there “was ever a time that they were strangers”. 
 

A Father’s View on Women

When I think of a father, I always come back to that moment in time hen I was 5 years old.  I was in Long Branch Beach, NJ and being my curious tiny self, I walked past the safety of the shore.  A wave stood tall, above me and dragged me into a dangerous current.  I was fully submerged, frightened and panicking for air.  I opened my eyes below the water and saw an arm.  I was scooped up in the arms of my father, choking but realizing that I was safe.  My expectations of a father are set high.  I have ideals of what a father should be like.  Mr. Bhowmick is not one of them. 

            Although prayer and religious beliefs are important, Mr. B prefers time alone with Kali Mata in place of his own family.  Mr. B feels as if “praying” is simply and excuse to avoid his wife and, “shut her out of his life.”  Mr. B even goes as far as to threaten his own wife by “beating her with his shoe”.   Mr. B obviously grew up where violence was present in his own household.  He follow in the footsteps of his own father whom once upon a time, threatened Mr. B’s mother.  According to the National Crime Records Bureau of India,  “65% of Indian men believe women should tolerate violence in order to keep the family together, and women sometimes deserve to be beaten.”  I understand that some cultures have different views when it comes to patriarchal duties but violence in the household towards anyone should never be permitted.  I never witnessed any violence between my mother and father growing up. 

            Not only is Mr. B tired with the “constant nagging of his wife”, but he is also disappointed when it comes to the personality of his own daughter.  According to an article titled The Status of Women in Patriarchal Indian, “wifehood and motherhood are commonly accepted as key roles for women in Indian society and by these implications, they should not pursue any different profession”.   Mr. B is not satisfied with the success of his bright and intelligent daughter.  He instead points out Babli’s flaws, claiming that she is not feminine enough.  In reality, Mr. B needs women to feel and be weaker in order for he himself to feel powerful and in control. 

            Mr. B cannot control his strong-minded daughter.  He avoids confrontation when wondering who the father of Babli’s baby is.  Mr. B worries about the shame Babli will bring onto his family.  When the father of Babli’s baby is announced, Mr. B is in total and utter shock.  Babli made the decision to have a baby without the help of a man.  Her decision was most likely based on her experience growing up.  It is evident that Mr. B was indeed an absent father during Babli’s life.  Babli was smart enough to notice that her father never really loved her mother and possibly vie versa. There was certainly distance between Mr. and Mrs. B with their opposing views on culture and beliefs.  Babli did not want to share the same fate as her mother, by marrying a man and by having to live the same sad, ritualistic marriage. 

            I feel that a father should ultimately support the women in his life.  Even though Mr. B may not agree with Babli’s decisions on motherhood, as a father, he should try and understand his daughter.  Mr. B seems incapable of loving anyone.  Even a fetus that shares the same blood as Mr. B is succumbed to violence by his/her own grandfather, while still in the womb.  Ultimately, Mr. B loses it at the end of the story because he has lost total control of Babli.  In a way, I believe he is jealous of the fact that Babli was able to control her own life, be successful and use her free will to have a child and live the life she’s always wanted.  

Smoke Signals:Moving Foward

     

Smoke Signals is a story of a man wanting to move forward, but his past is holding him back.  The main character is Victor who holds a lot of suppressed anger and resentment towards his father, Arnold.  When Victor was a young boy, his father abandoned him and his mother, making himself "disappear".  This left Victor with many open wounds that followed him into his adolescence.  Apart from that, Victor holds a grudge towards Thomas, the young boy whom Arnold saved during the fire that killed his parents.  Thomas is very blunt and straightforward, although he does not intentionally mean any harm, an in reality only wishes to help Victor.  His comments hit Victor like a ton of bricks, which causes many disputes between them.  Although Victor cannot forgive his father, they share many similarities.  They both view the white man as the enemy.  Arnold wants, "the white people to go back to where they belong".  On the bus to Phoenix, Victor tells Thomas that; "you can't trust anybody" and that people will, "rob you blind if you're not watching".  Although these statements come off as rude and disrespectful, Victor is proud of his Indian heritage.  He tells Thomas that, “Indians aren’t supposed to smile…you gotta look like a warrior, like you just came in from killing a buffalo."  Thomas wants to think of himself that way, when in reality he is quite the opposite.  The two cowboys in the bus steal his seats and although Victor initially confronts them, he backs down and moves to another seat.

            Victor has a soft spot for his mother, and she is probably the only person that he listens to throughout the movie.  While his mother is making her famous fry bread, Victor massages her hand.  He discusses the possibility of bringing Thomas with him on the journey, but is reluctant.  Victor’s mom responds, “People say I make the best bread in the world.  But I don’t make it by myself”.  The secret recipe has been passed on for generations.  She tries to tell him that everyone can use a little help.  Although he doesn’t realize it yet, Victor needs Thomas’ help.

            Thomas and Victor hitch a ride with two girls. They drive them to the end of the Indian reservation.  What makes this ride interesting is that the car is driving backwards which leads me to believe that Victor needs to go backwards in order to move forward. 

            Thomas is the storyteller of the movie.  His stories always seem to revolve around Arnold and always speak something favorable of him.  Thomas is forever grateful to Arnold because he saved his life.  Thomas reveals to Victor about that time that Arnold took him to Denny’s.  It is interesting to see that Arnold is very nice to Thomas while neglecting his own son.  Victor only seems to remember the bad things about his father; a drunk who beat his mother and left their family.  Victor is so fed up with the life he has lived.  He was tired of seeing his parents drunk and throwing parties.  As a result, Victor smashes beer bottles on his dad’s pick-up truck.  Victor’s mother wants to change because she notices that this lifestyle is damaging her son.  Arnold storms out and leaves, which makes Victor, feel responsible for the abandonment, although he does not want to face it.

            When arriving to his dad’s trailer home, Victor listens in on stories about his father from Suzy.  Suzy tells Victor that his father spoke about the time Victor scored the inning basket.  Arnold states that Victor “was like a magic.  He flew like an Indigenous angel.  It was the Indians versus the Christians that day and for at least one day, the Indians won”!  Arnold glorified his son and thought about going home everyday.  At this point in the story, we get a better sense of the man that Arnold was.  It was very endearing to see the picture that he carried in his wallet with the word “Home” written on the back.        

  Thomas tries to get Victor to see that his father was not an entirely bad person.  Thomas wants Victor to, “quit feeling sorry for yourself”.  Thomas tells Victor that maybe, “you don’t know who you are!”  After the argument, Thomas and victor avoid an accident.  A drunken man has hit two women, leaving one fatally hurt.  Victor runs for help and does not stop until his legs give out and he falls to the ground.  Victor sees the image of his father helping him up from the ground.  This comes to show you that Victor has begun the process of forgiving his father.  On heir way home, he tells Thomas if he could hold his dad’s ashes.  He shares some of the ashes with Thomas, who shares his intentions of throwing the ashes into the river.  Victor agrees saying that in doing so would be like, “"cleaning out the attic—like throwing things away when they have no more use."  In the last dramatic scene, we see Victor screaming and crying after releasing the ashes into the water.  He has finally let go of all that anger and pain that he’s felt for so long.  In “cleaning out the attic”, he’s cleaned up his past in order to make more room for his future.