When I think of a father, I always come back to that moment in time hen I was 5 years old. I was in Long Branch Beach, NJ and being my curious tiny self, I walked past the safety of the shore. A wave stood tall, above me and dragged me into a dangerous current. I was fully submerged, frightened and panicking for air. I opened my eyes below the water and saw an arm. I was scooped up in the arms of my father, choking but realizing that I was safe. My expectations of a father are set high. I have ideals of what a father should be like. Mr. Bhowmick is not one of them.
Although
prayer and religious beliefs are important, Mr. B prefers time alone with Kali
Mata in place of his own family. Mr. B
feels as if “praying” is simply and excuse to avoid his wife and, “shut her out
of his life.” Mr. B even goes as far as
to threaten his own wife by “beating her with his shoe”. Mr. B obviously grew up where violence was
present in his own household. He follow
in the footsteps of his own father whom once upon a time, threatened Mr. B’s
mother. According to the National Crime
Records Bureau of India, “65% of Indian
men believe women should tolerate violence in order to keep the family
together, and women sometimes deserve to be beaten.” I understand that some cultures have
different views when it comes to patriarchal duties but violence in the
household towards anyone should never be permitted. I never witnessed any violence between my
mother and father growing up.
Not only is
Mr. B tired with the “constant nagging of his wife”, but he is also
disappointed when it comes to the personality of his own daughter. According to an article titled The Status of Women in Patriarchal Indian, “wifehood
and motherhood are commonly accepted as key roles for women in Indian society
and by these implications, they should not pursue any different
profession”. Mr. B is not satisfied with the success of his
bright and intelligent daughter. He
instead points out Babli’s flaws, claiming that she is not feminine enough. In reality, Mr. B needs women to feel and be weaker
in order for he himself to feel powerful and in control.
Mr. B cannot
control his strong-minded daughter. He
avoids confrontation when wondering who the father of Babli’s baby is. Mr. B worries about the shame Babli will
bring onto his family. When the father
of Babli’s baby is announced, Mr. B is in total and utter shock. Babli made the decision to have a baby without
the help of a man. Her decision was most
likely based on her experience growing up.
It is evident that Mr. B was indeed an absent father during Babli’s
life. Babli was smart enough to notice that
her father never really loved her mother and possibly vie versa. There was
certainly distance between Mr. and Mrs. B with their opposing views on culture
and beliefs. Babli did not want to share
the same fate as her mother, by marrying a man and by having to live the same
sad, ritualistic marriage.
I feel that
a father should ultimately support the women in his life. Even though Mr. B may not agree with Babli’s
decisions on motherhood, as a father, he should try and understand his
daughter. Mr. B seems incapable of
loving anyone. Even a fetus that shares
the same blood as Mr. B is succumbed to violence by his/her own grandfather,
while still in the womb. Ultimately, Mr.
B loses it at the end of the story because he has lost total control of
Babli. In a way, I believe he is jealous
of the fact that Babli was able to control her own life, be successful and use
her free will to have a child and live the life she’s always wanted.
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